MOST DRINKERS HAVE A QUOTE OR TWO THAT THEY CAN SPOUT OFF TO SOUND LIKE THEY ARE KNOWLEDGABLE AND HAVENT WASTED THE MAJORITY OF TIME ON A BARSTOOL.   HERE IS A LIST OF SOME GOOD ONES THAT YOU TOO CAN SPOUT OFF AND SOUND WISE....  OR SOMETHING. --"To some its a six-pack, to me it's a support group."    Anonymous --"If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs." David Daye. --"Scotch - Because one doesn't solve the world's  problems over white wine."    Anonymous --"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." Hunter S Thompson. --"What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others." Diogenes.  A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.  --W.C. Fields  I drink to make other people interesting.  --George Jean Nathan  People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.  --Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI  Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.  --Benjamin Franklin   Work is the curse of the drinking class.  --Oscar Wilde  Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry  Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.  --Dave Barry All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.  --Homer Simpson  He was a wise man who invented beer.  --Plato When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.  --Henny Youngman  If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.  --Deep Thought, Jack Handy "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." Humprey Bogart. Time don't let it slip away, Raise your drinking glass Here's to yesterday ---Aerosmith  Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.  --Kaiser Wilhelm Eat; drink; and be merry; for tommorrow you may not be able to afford it. --Unknown Beer that is not drunk has missed its vocation. --Meyer Breslau Starkle, starkle little twink, who da hell you are i think. I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am. Besides I've only had tee martoonies and all day sober to Sunday up in. I fool so feelish, i don't know whos me yet, but the drunker I sit here, the longer I get. --Unknown  They who drink beer will think beer.  --Washington Irving Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. --Robert A. Heinlein When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...  --Brian O'Rourke  Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.  --Ernest Hemingway  I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.  --Frank Sinatra   Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.  --Catherine Zandonella Candy is dandy but, liquor is quicker.  --Ogden Nash The frog does not drink up the pond in which he lives. --Native American Proverb The water was not fit to drink. To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey. By diligent effort, I learned to like it. --Sir Winston Churchill Water, water, everywhere, And all the boards did shrink. Water, water everywhere, Nor any drop to drink. --Samuel Taylor Coleridge The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner Good old days: Beer foamed and drinking water didn't. --Unknown Drink what you want, drink what you're able. If you are drinking with me, you'll be under the table --Unknown People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. --Ann Landers Beer commercials are so patriotic: 'Made the American Way.' What does that have to do with America? Is that what America stands for? Feeling sluggish and urinating frequently? --Evelyn Waugh Saint Patrick was a gentleman...Who through strategy and stealth... Drove all the snakes from Ireland...Here's a drinkee to his health! But not too many drinkees...Lest we lose ourselves and then... Forget the good Saint Patrick...And see them snakes again! --Unknown Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, 'It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.' --Jack Handey Wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things. --Ecclesiastes 10:19 If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. --Thomas De Quincey A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses --H. L. Mencken A drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. --Steve Fergosi They'll talk about me showing cleavage and my belly, but they don't say anything about the artists who accept an award and can't even talk because they're so drugged out. After the awards show, I go home, drink my tea and go to bed. --Britney Spears on the media No animal ever invented anything as bad as drunkenness - or so good as drink. --G. K. Chesterton