We all fall into at least one of these categories, dont lie to yourself and claim that you dont.  but thats okay.  it is not YOUR behavior you should worry about (EVER), it is how those around you act.  After all, when was the last time that you felt like getting up and punching yourself for being a "know it all" or acting the fool?                                      Bar Personalities The Expert  No One can clear a bar out faster than "The Expert".  He's the one who's been there, done that, has the  T-Shirt and the hat. Heck, he even owns part of it!  He knows something about everything and doesn't  hesitate to tell you about it.  The Smokers  People always smoke more when they're drinking. There  are two kinds of smokers; those that chain smoke and  invariably sit next to a non-smoker and the "OPC"  smokers. The latter are the kind who's favorite brand  is "OPC's" (Other People's Cigarettes). They only  smoke when they drink or their wife doesn't know  they're smoking again, so they bum instead of forking  out the three bucks bars charge for a pack of their  own.  The Muncher  "The Muncher" is the one who always parks himself next  to your garnish tray. You never actually see him sneaking  olives and fruit. The tray's assortment just diminishes  and there's always the tell-tale sign of fruit rinds and  cherry stems left behind. They always want to know,  "What kind of free snackies do you have back there?".  The Entertainment  Oh boy, here he comes! You know you're in for some laughs  now. Everyone loves this patron. They practically line up  to buy him a shot to see what he'll do this time. His  visit lives on long after you've called him a cab. Days  later the story of his antics gets better and better.  The Big Spender  "The Big Spender" always buys a round of drinks for the  bar. The tab comes up to $39.00 and he whips out two  twenties and tells you to, "Keep the change. Ya know,  you're a real good bartender!". You feel grateful that  he remembered a tip this time.  The Jokester  "Hey, have you heard the one about..." is their usual  opening statement. The joke is usually the one you told  them last week, but once in awhile they come up with  some gems.  The Complainer  The dog's in the vet again, the car wouldn't start  after spending three hours shoveling the driveway, which  put out his back and wouldn't you know, the doctor's  office was closed and he had to spend the entire night  in the emergency room listening to some old lady complain  about her bursitis.  The Talker  Your bar is full, the lounge and dining room are packed,  and there's a wedding in the banquet room. You're the  only bartender on, have blenders going at both ends of  the bar, and "The Talker" just has to tell you "this  one story."  The Sampler  "Hey, can you make me a Slimy Purple Flying Albatross?"  After you make it they decide that they want to try  something else usually because the one they just told you  how to make didn't quite taste as good as the one they  had in the islands. You just know how bad they're going  to feel in the morning. Click Here! Click Here! Click Here!